A Story I am writing

I have decided to write a story, i have no name for it yet, and it also might look like *censored* or be corny and stuff, but i assure you it will get really good....i will edit things if they look bad to me, but i will do that once i get farther into the story....

cool good luck

Prolog

"Im going off to join the Vekla, Mark you cant stop me" Jack said as he packed his bags, the room was dimly lit, light was coming throughthe spaces inbetween the blinds and from the blue glow of an old computer.
Jack thought of how much he was hurting everyone he cared about, but quickly pushed those thoughts to the back of his head

"Jack, you know as well as i the Vekla are evil, they are a tyranical force, they are plotting to take over the world, through the world into kaos" Mark said as he grabbed Jack by the arm pulling him back into the room

"No...not again, i wont let you stop me again" Jack said as he pushed Mark onto the ground and walked out of the room, he walked down the steps of his destroyed house, wallpaper falling off of the wallsm, furnature on the ground, he walked out the front door to see a black van parked in the driveway, it looke like new, all of the windows were tinted, the wheels looked like new, the rims were sparkling in the sun, the engine was running,the van was a sight to see as everything on the street was torn and destroyed, a man in a black suit with very dark sunglasses stepped out of the van, he told jack to get in the van, he did, the van pulled off, and drove down the street, Mark watched untill the van was out of sight.

Thanks storm, i will allow comments in this thred aswell, i dont want to take up two threds for one topic, just try to keep the comments to a minimum.

Chapter One, Lies and Deceats

(Will finish later, i have to do something)

you can make two threads it doesnt matter

Oh, well this shall be my comment thred.

I'll read it latter and tell you what i think

Thanks, since your a good writer, i cant wait to see what you think.

i'd read it sooner but i just got up

This is understandalbe, its 3:15 A.M. here, and i havent even went to bed yet.

This is only because its Saturday , well now its sunday, and anyway i just got off topic....

lol i have the most messed upsleeping pattern ever,

any ways back on topic, gonna read it now

ok several things, I don't know when this is set, ware it is and what is the Vekla. don't double press enter to make your posts to look longer

story wise very corny. but I can see this being good, if you try

I dont double press enter, atleast i dont think i do, i will fix that.

The Vekla are a secretive government service of the world, everyone knows who they are, but no one knowswhat they do, some tell stories of being tortured by them, they pillage small cities, and your not suppost to know that yet, you get to know the Vekla as the story goes on, you also get to know more about whats going on and why Mark and Ferra are getting chased.

Also, the time is around 2050, and it is not based on earth, the planet is called earth, and humans and animals live on it, but that is were the similarities end, the geographical simalarities anyway, the planet is difforent, there is no North America, or Aisa or anything like that.

so humans have FTL tech or just another planet named earth populated by humans by magic?

Vekla reminds me of Cerberus of Mass effects
http://masseffect.wikia.com/wiki/Cerberus

No, its an alternet universe, in around 2050, they have lasers, that is about it.

Spoiler Alert

Spoiler:

Take ideas from other factional shady government agencies.
it will help with developing the Vekla a lot

heey send me the file so i can read it please

its written in another topic

are you going to continue this or have you abandoned it?